I Hate Snow White
by Tanith Panic
Summary: A Fierce, Brave Gang Story. Why has David turned against his favourite 'Disney Babe' and can the others help?
"I HATE SNOW WHITE"

David's settled in a little, but a mean lad in the 'Haunted Playground' has told him something horrible about his once-favourite Disney character. His Granny just gets angry when he asks for advice; can the FBG help at all?

The Gang were discussing Disney Babes. Robyn was joining in because she didn't mind if the others thought she was a lebsion. Lofty wasn't homey phobic so he would still marry her.

"I want to be like Cinderella" Robyn said fervently, "She's so pretty.

"You're pretty anyway" David said in his quiet little voice. He was still uneasy about talking too loudly as his Granny had said she was going to take him to the Haunted Playground at midnight and leave him there for somebody else to look after. David hated the Haunted Playground now.

Robyn hoped Lofty would get cross that David was calling her pretty, and threaten to bash David so she'd know Lofty really loved her. But Lofty was still doing his Look After David campaign; ever since he'd confessed about his mean Granny, Lofty's heart had gone out to him. David had already been invited for his tea on Mr Keogh's boat, and had fallen in love with Dervla.

"I like Princess Jasmine because she looks like Zoe" said Max, the incurable romantic.

"Ariel's my favourite. I like redheads" Lofty maintained.

"Snow White forever!" shouted Ethan.

A shadow passed over David's little face.

"I hate Snow White!" he croaked out.

Ethan pouted, but just then the bell went.

Lofty wondered what had happened to make David's face so sad. He put his arm round his new friend's shoulders as they went in to school.

Ethan was at David again before the class started.

"Why don't you like her? She's top Disney Babe!"

"I don't like her" David was back to his habit of hardly speaking.

"WHY?" nagged Ethan.

David all but whispered:

"I'll tell Ben at playtime."

"It's Gang Meeting. You have to come to that" Ethan persisted. He had days like this every so often, when people wanted to strangle him.

Zax looked at each other and spoke as one:

"David is excused the meeting if he has to confer with Ben. We shall save your shares of the gang treats until afternoon playtime."

"Thank you" Lofty spoke for them both.

Just then in came Mr Keogh.

"Discussion?" he asked.

"About Disney Babes" Jacob grinned.

"I rather like that little minx from 'Tangled' myself. But if you don't be quiet and concentrate on maths, Class, you'll be 'tangled' in a detention here this playtime."

Everybody got down to the maths.

"There was a boy I met in the Haunted Playground and he-"

poor David choked back a sob – "He said that Snow White was a nasty smelly zombie because she was brought back from being a dead person."

"They never show her like that, though, not in films and books."

Lofty had an inspiration.

"I bet Cal knows. We'll go over to the fence near the Juniors at lunchtime and see if we can catch him coming out."

Then something else struck him.

"David, you shouldn't go in that Haunted Playground on your own. My dad says never ever go in it alone."

The Haunted Playground had got its name when the teachers, having heard of sightings of a paedophile in the playground, had decided to ban the kids from going but without telling the kids the truth. They'd spread rumours that it was haunted, and so far the kids kept away from it. Then Lofty remembered that David's Granny had threatened to leave him there. She's a bad old woman, thought Lofty, and I don't care if that's not 'spectful.

"Hi, Ben, David. Did you want me?" Cal smiled.

Lofty explained the problem. Cal began to grin.

"Oh that boy's so wrong and I've got a DVD that proves it! Can you come to tea with me and Ethan tonight? Mum Beauchamp won't mind."

David's Granny said he could go, but she sounded very grudging. Inside she was gloating because it meant not having to cook for the brat.

Mrs Beauchamp gave them all a lovely tea and then said she was going to do some decorating with Miss Freeman, so not to worry if they heard any bumps upstairs.

Ethan was still glaring at David but cheered up when he saw Cal taking the DVD from its case.

"NOW you'll see!" he gloated.

And David did see. It was like a miracle. The DVD proved that Snow White wasn't dead at any time; it had been a sleeping curse so the dwarfs would be fooled into burying her alive.

"So you see, David, when the Prince kissed her, she'd still be all fresh and beautiful because she was just asleep."

"Oh!" David's eyes shone.

Everything was lovely again; David hardly minded later when Cal saw him and Lofty home and, once the door had closed on David, his Granny gave him a smack round the ear because she'd had to wait in for him and it was Bingo night.

Next day an excited little group ran up to Miss Freeman.

"Miss Freeman, you know how we do a school play before we break up? Please, PLEASE can we do Snow White?"

Miss Freeman said yes but she was a little concerned about the political correctness of dwarfs. Then she had her idea.

"Why don't we do it with a super twist to the story so she's taken in by a band of outlaws instead?"

"Wow and they teach her how to fight and do Kung Fu. But she doesn't do it on the old woman with the apple because you don't Kung Fu old women!" Zoe said.

"That's a great idea, and there can be girl outlaws too. Now all we need is for a title. I know! Why don't you all sit at separate desks and work out a really good title for the show – sorry, Zax, you'll have to be separate for this one – and I'll give a book token to the person who thinks of the best one? I'll go and talk to Mrs Beauchamp about the whole thing. I know I can put you on your trust to keep your ideas secret till I come back."

David thought how Miss Freeman liked to see Mrs Beauchamp a lot. But he was happy again so he just enjoyed being happy.

Miss Freeman and Mrs Beauchamp came back together looking pink and happy. They listened to all the title ideas but declared that the winner just had to be Jacob.

He'd come up with "Snow White and the Usual Suspects."


End file.
